Home to our joys, home to our sorrows
by Suzotchka
Summary: After the war, John and Susan return to the Io to attend a wedding and confront both old and new hardships
1. Default Chapter

Home to our Joys,

Home to our sorrows. 

Disclaimer: Not mine

It had been a year since the end of the Earth war. Sheridan was working at his desk. Now that the Interplanatary Alliance had been founded and he had been sworn in President, that rank as well as the rest of the Army of Light senior staff was higher than the highest rank of each of the member governments which included all the major species of the known region. He leaned back a moment as a woman ran in. Commander Susan Ivanova, his second in command, the Vice President, came in and smiled at him. He smiled back. Everything had turned out well for them. 

She was married to Marcus Cole and had a daughter a year and a half old, Laura Hope Cole who was a week older than his daughter Leanna. His older son was 3 years old and his name was David. The two families as well Michael, Stephen and Lennier were very close. 

Susan came over in her black uniform, and perched herself on the edge of his desk. He smiled at her. He remembered during the wars how worn out she had looked. She had had to work so hard in those days. Now she had a lighter load as the station was no longer new as it had been in Jeff's day, or at war like the recent years. Her crew was trained. She no longer had to be up at ungodly hours to train hundreds of people and often came in with Alpha shift at eight instead of 5:30 when she used to to meet her pilot students with whom she met once a week. Now she worked till late afternoon, in C and C repairs, pilots and anything else that came up. She spent evenings going over paperwork or spending time with her family, and then spent a few nights a week doing undercover work with her ranger husband in downbelow. 

It was now evening. He stopped what he was doing to look at her. She smiled and was about to show him something when Marcus came in with the kids. Shy Leanna in his arms and Laura and David running ahead to their parents with childish shouts. They stood and Susan grunted as David flung himself into her arms. John had to place his hand on the small of her back to steady her and keep her from falling over as he took Laura. For a few second they greeted one another until the children climbed off and began to play on the floor.

Marcus came over and wrapped his arm around his wife. She leaned back to rest against him. John smiled. He waited until Marcus released her before asking, " What did you want to show me?"

She held out an invitation, a wedding invitation. It was from an Lieutenant Jenette Paris, Susan's room mate at the IO. It was addressed to Susan and it said she could bring a date. He read it and looked up, the wedding was in two and a half weeks. He reads it and said ," Have fun."

She scowled and handed it back to him." What?" he demanded.

She pointed to the area where it said she could bring a date, " yeah so you and Marcus have fun."

" You come with me. It will be fun."

" Why?"

" Because nearly everyone will be there from the Io. It will be like a reunion. "

" I was never close to the crew there, you remember."

" It will be a good chance for you to get to know them." she said, coming up from behind him to wrap her arms around his neck and rest her chin on his shoulder.

" Won't Marcus mind?" 

From where he was playing with the kids he said," you would be doing me a favor, I hate dressing up in that tux she picked out, besides she wants to take you, and I hate formal parties, attended too many of them as a kid." He gathered up the children to take them to the park, leaving Susan and John alone again.

She pulled him up from his chair. Her slim hands in his own. He felt the strenght in them and the weariness. He could feel the blisters on them, formed by years of hard work. His own smooth hands suddenly made him feel ashamed. He rubbed her hands gentily in his own, " Come on," she wheedled after a moment of silence.

He thought over it, it would be fun, just him and Susan. And it was so rare that she ever asked anything of him. She looked really excited about this. He sighed to fake his reluctance, she saw right through it as he said with great drama, " I guess I will go." She smiled and hugged him hard, her slender body wrapped around his as he returned the gesture.

They had rushed to his and Delenn's quarters; she was there alone. Quickly John told her of their trip, he too was excited. She smiled, it would be good for them both. 

" When do we leave?"

" Three days." Susan responded to his question," We can go by shuttle, and then the white star can pick us up when it is time."

" There are going to be alot of functions with everyone there. What should we take?"

" Regular clothes, something dressy for the first few parties."

" What about the wedding and reception?"

" Smart one, what is the Io." Susan demanded.

" Earths dock."

" Yeah so we can go planet side to go shopping."

he grinned even more, he hadn't thought of this, they could see there families.

Three days passed quickly. Soon they were departing the station, They boarded the shuttle and took the cockpit. Susan in the pilots seat. They were both wearing civilian clothing. He wore light brown pants with a green cotton shirt. She wore a long black skirt and a clingy sky blue turtle neck with black heels and her hair loose.

She leaned forward," This is commander Ivanova to C and C, permission to jump."

" Permission granted," said Corwin hastily, holding up a Centuri transport to allow his commanding officers leave. They both laughed. 

The 24 hour by the advance shuttle made in white star style was enjoyable for the both of them. As they neared the station, John began reading over the crew compliment. " It is mostly the same crew, maybe 20 of us left out of 100, and 30 people came. Michael Brumby, who used to be the Xo is now the Captain." At this Susan became quiet. 

" What's wrong?" John asked, he was pleased to be able to see his former Xo again. He had never been close to the man but it would be nice to see him again. She mumbled something and tried to change the subject. He refused to allow it.

She sighed, " Brumby isn't exactly a model officer. When we were at the Io, he traded favors... rather openly. If you weren't interested... let's just say he made it very difficult for you."

" What do you mean?" John asked harshly. He thought over his time at the IO. John was the reserved leader. He maintained a distance from the crew. He had relied on his senior staff to keep him up to date. He had not been close with his senior staff either. He was vaguely aware the crew disliked his Xo but nothing came of it. He personally had not liked the man either but Brumby did his job well enough. Susan had been his only friend there. Brumby had discouraged his friendship with the lower deck personal, even if she was second in command to the chief pilot. He had always had a dislike for her. John had assumed it had to do with her violent nature and tendancy not to obey blindly.

Susan sighed, " Nothing.'

" No what is it?" John demanded somewhat impatiently, taking her by the shoulders, rather roughly.

Susan, shocked responed," Fine he wanted sexual favors for a good word here and there, promises of promotions, some women said yes. I said no. He pressed me. I said no. He made up charges against me to have me on some kind of probation rather regularly. Then one night, he came to my quarters, my roommate wasn't there. and he..."

" What? " whispered John, afraid of what he was about to hear.

" he tried to rape me." she said quietly. " I fought him off. But I am just not looking foward to seeing him again. He always looked at me like I was a slut, he did that to women in general. He said things, that I was... sleeping with you."

John thought over their years at the Io. He felt ashamed he hadn't known, ashamed he had agreed with Brumby over her punishments in an attempt not to show favoritism. He remembered when Brumby had come to him to but Susan under house arrest for two weeks for being repetitively insubordinate with him. John remembered being surprised; he had nothing but glowing reports about her. She was always respectful with him even with their friendship. When he had asked her privately she had said okay, as if learning something rather than agreeing. As for the charges of sleeping with him, he could prove false. Part of the time Anna had been alive, but even after she died, he and Susan had been nothing more than friends. She never acted inappropriately towards him. 

John growled angrily, but not at her, but himself and at Brumby. She looked at him. He looked at her softly, a sorrowful look for what she had endured. He gentily wrapped his arms around her. She returned the gesture. That is how they were when they were hailed by Io c n c who were expecting them and granting them docking leave before they had time to ask.

Ten minutes later, they stood out in the shuttle bay as Captain Michael Brumby and his staff stood at attention in front of them as they were the commander in chief and second in command of the Alliance and Army of Light. Ranking them higher than even the president of Earth. As they did so, crew men took there belonging to the presidential suites on board as Earth was so close. John glared at Brumby and moved away forcing him to stand at attention to Susan alone, who understood John's attempt and silently tried to stop him. He watched Brumby stare at Susan and noticed the hateful look he directed to her as well as the obvious leer and arrogance. John motioned to Susan to hold him at attention and she did so for several seconds before finally calling and " at ease."

" Welcome aboard, Captain, Commander." said Brumby heartily as he shook both their hands. He introduced his senior staff, many of whom had served when Susan and John had been aboard.

Susan and John went to their quarters, both showered and dressed, donning their Allaince uniforms. Susan headed for the furies dock where her former co was preparing to send his wingman with a crew to escort a supplies ship through hyperspace to a destination about 3 hours away. Half way there she was intercepted by Brumby, who grabbing her arm pinned her against the wall and said sneeringly," So you still with him, he your kid's daddy?" he said, the liquar in his breath. 

Susan hissed, and pulled herself from him ran to the docking bay. Unobserved, John watched silently, holding himself back from beating the man to pulp.


	2. Chapter 2

Home to our joys, home to our sorrows 2.

Disclaimer: not mine ( as in the babylon 5 stuff is not mine the plot is mine.)

Yeah I got the Brumby name from Jag, that's not mine either.

Author's note in the summary contront should be confront. Sorry, I just noticed the typo.

When Susan had entered the furie bay, the crew snapped to attention which was a bit disoriananting as she just wanted to fly. She stated as much asking her former Co for permission. He seemed surprised and stepped back giving her command, trembling as if meeting the pope. 

Susan was a bit upset at this as all she wanted was to fly with her old friends. He offered her command of the mission and the alpha wing which she accepted. She quickly suited up and was gone lead the wing out. Her former co's second, her position served as her second and she found him eager yet nervous like a green ensign.

Ahead of schedule, due to Susan's command, they reached the transport with in 2 and an half hours. When they reached the ship, it was surrounded by raiders in the mist of battle. After years of war, it seemed like a piece of cake to Susan and within ten minutes the raider were on the move. The ship, a Centauri supplies ship, was then escorted back by the wing.

***** After Susan had left, John had marched in to the briefing room where several joint chiefs were waiting for Brumby for a meeting on a new mission they wanted his crew to undertake. John seated himself in a chair defiantely, with a look that said he would not move. The chiefs, understanding his outranking them did nothing but nod to him as Brumby rushed in late, apologizing with the excuse that something had come up and John held back comment. He was able to keep an eye on Brumby that way. The meeting lastedlong after Susan returned and as much as he wanted to go to her, his pride refused to let him step down. Finally nearly 10 hours later the chiefs left after a firm good bye to them both. 

Brumby left first as the chiefs and John were speaking of the mending bridge between the alliance and Earth and their hopes for it. By the time they left, Brumby was no where to be seen. Getting directions from the crew, John learned that Brumby was headed for the quarters of the to be bride. John followed him there.

In the quarters of Jenette Paris, a group of women including Susan were gathered preparing for the big event now just two weeks away. The dress was a simple white dress which her friends were going to decorate for her. An Lieutenant Samantha Kim was sewing lace to the boarders as an Ensign Mary Olsen did the ribbon. Susan was kneeling embrodering the white dress with white silk. She was facing away from the door. Like John who had stopped in his quarters on his way to change, she wore civilian clothing which she had changed into after a shower opon return from the mission. A black tee shirt with a white long skirt which was printed with large black flowers and black sandels. On her arms she wore silver bangles and a silver locket around her neck. 

Brumby arrived just seconds in front of John as he had to take a an more discreet way so as to avoid the crew. He barged in with John standing right behind him. He did not notice John and headed straight for Jenette with hatred in his eyes. Ignoring the rest of the ladies he pulled the dress from her lap where the ladies were working on it. He threw it to the ground, and the other women stepped back excepted Susan only a few feet away from him but kept her back to him and he did not notice. " How dare you invite Sheridan and Ivanova without my permission? You're lucky I am letting you get married you bitch, you're nothing but a good for nothing whore." With that he prepared to strick her.

At that Susan stood up and turned to face him. That got his attention. " Step back." Susan said firmly. 

He laughed, " Make me. You remember our night, remember me on you, with you, in you, remember, you want a repeat." and with that he punched her hard in the stomach. She fell to the ground and John rushed in blocking her from the women and Brumby. He knelt beside her and her hand was on her stomach. She looked at him and gasped softly," The baby." John looked down as her skirt soaked with blood. 


	3. chapter 3

Home to our joys, home to our sorrows 3

disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. If I did own it there would be more happy endings.

Author's note glad you like it. I am not sure if the baby lives or not as this story is sort of writing it self.

John scooped her up in his arms. Without waiting a second he ran to the medical facilities, his mind racing, he hadn't even known she was pregnant. Oh God he thought, what if she lost it? She drifted out of consiousness holding his arm as it went around her and he felt it go limp. He was soaking in her blood. They both were. His anger gave him the fuel to run fast. He had wanted to kill Brumby, tear him apart limb by limb, but he had to get her to a doctor first, that was more important.

He walked into the Medlab, the doctor ran to him. Quickly they lay her down. The doctors quickly wheeled her into a room. He followed running to keep up but was restrained by a nurse pulling him aside and asking him to leave. He protested but was physically held back from being with her. He waited in the doctors office, pacing back and forth, staring blankly at his blood stained hands. The blood which soaked his clothes, so much blood. He thought of the child, his godchild, one he might never meet. It tore his heart to think of it, already knowing love for it. And for Susan for what she would suffer. 

He remained there for the 3 hours the surgery took. Finally, a the doctor came out, he looked sadly at John who stood anxiously. John's brow knitted, " What is it? What is going on? How are they?"

Choosing to answer the easier question first, the doctor said," The nurses are cleaning her up. You can see her in a while. She will be waking up shortly. They will do their best to make her comfortable. She lost alot of blood, so we have her hooked up to some as well as an Iv and oxygen. With some care she will be fine."

John nodded slightly, " The baby?" he asked 

The doctor shook his head sadly, " I am sorry, we weren't able to save the baby." 

John tried to keep himself composed but was unable and began to sob like a child. The doctor watched helplessly as the leader of the armyof light and alliance fell apart. His hands were clean now as he had washed them in the sink in the corner at the nurse's direction. The rest of him was bedrangled and covered in the blood of his XO and second in the Alliance. 

The doctor attempted to comfort the man rather awkwardly as he was expecting this reaction from the commander not the captain. It was ten minutes before John was able to silence himself somewhat and look to the doctor, as two nurses walked in.

" She's comfortable doctor, she is waking up now."

The doctor turned to John and kindly suggested," Why don't you go clean up and then you can see her for a little while?"

John agreed and walked to his quarters, showered and dressed numbly. His face returned to normal showing no signs of his tears but his eyes were as sorrowful as he felt. He walked into medlab and was directed to Susan's room where a nurse was laying down a tray of food and leaving closing the door behind her.

John stood near the door, away from Susan. She was lying in a bed receiving blood in her arm and an iv in her arm gave her anti virus medicine and some nurishement. From a slim tube which lay under her nose, above her upper lip she received oxygen. She was laying with the back elevated so she was half sitting. Her hair was loose, falling over her shoulders. She wore a medlab gown and was covered waist down with a blanket. Her face was blank, composed. But when he looked into her eyes he saw that they were drowning themselves in the sorrow in them. She looked up at him and he saw the tears streaming down her face. He walked to her side and took her hand in his own. They were both silent for a moment. Then Susan looked to him gasping out," My baby." 

" I know Susan." he said standing and wrapping his arms around her as she buried her head in his chest and began to cry. 


	4. chapter 4

Home to our joys, home to our sorrows 4.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, all the babylon stuff belong to JMS.

Brumby's name is from Jag.

Laura and Leanna are from Ali's fanfiction

Authors note. I have only in the past two years seen Babylon 5. I keep reading alot about something called Crusade. Could anyone explain it to me?

He stood in the shadows. His dark uniform blend in. He was silent, breathing silently as the mimbari do. His target walked into the room. The arrogant Captain of the Io who seemed unconcerned about the death he had just caused walked into the briefing room. Alone. 

*****His back was turned from the man in the shadows who walked up to him silently. He was unknowing until an arm wrapped hard around his neck threatning to break it. 

He was forced to spin to face his attacker. He had no chance against the infuriated man who punched him in the face, in the chest, twisting and breaking his arms.

" You killed her, you killed my god daughter, and now I will kill you." The voice was thick with anger, the eyes which peered into his were filled with hate. 

He was pulled up from the ground, and kicked so that his legs buckled.

" I know what you have done, what you have been doing, I will never let it happen again. Never you son of a bitch."

He was punched in the nose again which now pored blood. Then slammed into the wall, the creaking of his ribs breaking filled the room, and the voice angrily attoned," You won't live to do it again you bastard."

And then he lost consiousness.


	5. chapter 5

Home to our joys, home to our sorrows 5.

Disclaimer : the plot is mine, the rest is JMS's.

John sat in the mess with a cup of coffee, rubbing his head slowly, considering the event of the last twenty four hours. After Susan had cried her self to sleep in his arms, he had been to enranged at what happened to do anything but take care of Brumby. Brumby was now in Medlab as well. He was under house arrest until his trial which was expected to turn out in court marshall and even imprisonement.

When the proper authorities had Brumby, John realized that Marcus didn't know yet. Hating to have to be the one to make this call, yet not wanting a stranger to do so, he contacted Marcus who immediately knew something was wrong.

" What?"

" Did you know Susan was pregnant? asked John lowly.

" Yes, what's wrong? was?" Marcus demanded becoming agatated.

Tears threatened to spill from John's eyes as he said," She lost the baby." he spent the next few minutes explaining how as he and Marcus both cried. When his tears stopped Marcus asked to speak to Susan alone and he arranged it. He had also called his mother and as the two spoke a plan was formed. 

John wanted to be with Susan, as he had been all night but the doctor demanded that shower and grab something to eat. So that was why he was in the mess instead of by his best friends side when she needed him the most. It irratated him that he had obeyed meekly but he really had been to tired to protest. He had taken some clothes for Susan from her quarters as the doctor said she could go to her quarters. He had been planning to assign a female nurse to stay with her but John refused in favor of himself.

It would be 0800 before she would be released. She had been taken of the Iv and blood supply yesterday evening. The doctor said that they would give her more blood but later on. The oxygen had been taken off while she slept with John and the doctor watching cautiously as she took a breath by herself, and another and another. The monitor continued to monitor her. They all felt better that way. 

Due to the blood she had lost Susan was very cold. Taking this in consideration when he chose clothes for her to wear when she left medlab as per the Doctor's request. He had chosen a gray long elastic wool skirt with matching button up sweater, a black turtleneck, leggings and black flats. 

It was 0750. John headed down to medlab. Arriving there he was ushured into the doctor's office and told that she was still dressing. He waited a few moments with the doctor who gave him a few instructions. Make sure she eats regularly, have her sit with her legs elevates or lie down preferable, minimal walking or exersise. Bring her down once in the after noon.

John listened patiently to it all. He was about to interject when he heard a slight sobbing he recongnized. He walked into Susan's room . She stood in her turtle neck and leggings, rather black tights. The nurse attempted to shield her from him. He refused to stand it. Susan was quiet now, having swollowed her sob, hiccuped. He took the three steps between them and gathered her in his arms. She was quiet this time, but held on to him. After a moment she whisper," Brumby, he's here.'

It was a statement, not a question, but John nodded in the affirmative. She lay her head back in his chest. He let her rest there for a long time before holding her up and helping her slip on the skirt and shoes, tucking her shirt in he helped her with her sweater. He seated her in a chair for a moment and the nurses swarmed in again, making her hair and such, while John stepped back to address the doctor.

He approached her. He held his hand out and she took it. He pulled her up and lead her toward the door. Instead of taking her towards her quarters only one deck down and some 100 or so yards away, he lead her down 3 decks and across the half mile station. He had wrapped her arm around her to lead her. After having walked half way there, she asked," Where are we going?"

She was slightly out of breath, she seemed tired already and dizzy. "It's a surprise." John said as he noticed her condition, He lifted her up into his arms and carried her to where their shuttle was, ready for them, up to full power, navigation ready. The suitcases he had places with one weeks worth of clothes for them both in the closet. They boarded. The station Xo now in power with Brumby in medlab and then to be removed, gave them permission to leave and they headed for Earth.


	6. chapter 6

Home to our joys, home to our sorrows 6.

Disclaimer: nothing is mine but the plot and a few made up people.

Author's note, thanks for the reviews and for the information. Please read and review.

Patricia Sheridan hurried to prepare rooms for her son and his friend who were to arrive today. The day before John had called her and told him about Susan. He and Susan had been friends for years and Patricia knew a great deal about the girl, even if they had never met. Her son was bringing her for a week to relax at their farm house. As she thought through this, Patricia made the beds in both John's old room, for him and the guest room next to it for Susan, cleaning the bathroom which adjourned both rooms and cleaned the rooms, tables and dressers. Her husband was away on a diplomatic mission but would arrive within the next few days. 

She was excited yet dismayed. She hadn't seen her son since before the wars. Yet she was over come by sorrow by what Susan had gone through, and from the looks of it John as well who had cried when he told her of the death of the unborn child. She wiped her face when she heard the unmistakable sound of a shuttle landing and raced down stairs and out the door where John was opening the door of the shuttle and helping Susan out. 

Susan in her gray clothing looked pale and withdrawn. Whenever Patricia had seen pictures of her she had come up to John's upper lip in her heels. Now she wore flats and was just under his chin in height. When she looked Patricia in the eye, Patricia could see the sorrow of the world and held out her arms to the girl," Oh Susan." taking her in a hug. They stayed that way for several minutes and John took their luggage up, meeting them in the living room, where the two women were seated.

John came over to greet his mother and hugged her hard. After they were settled Patricia turned to Susan, lowering her voice, and softening it as if talking to a child," How are you Susan?"

Susan's voice was hollow as she responded automatically," I'm fine, how are you Mrs.."

She got no further as Patricia interupted," That's mom to you." with a smile. Susan nodded in agreement but said nothing and leaned back into the sofa. Trish got up and excusing herself went to the kitchen and returned with lemonade which the three sipped in silence.

The rest of the day went by as such. They retired early so they would have a chance to un pack. John walked Susan upstairs and to her room before bidding both women goodnight and disappeared to his room. Susan struggled to lift the suitcase to the bed. Trish seeing this entered Susan's room through the unclosed door. She quickly lead Susan to sit down and began unpacking the clothing, chatting as she did so. Susan spoke little except to protest Trish helping her which fell on deaf ears. Trish after hanging her clothes, place Susan's other belongings in the top drawers so Susan could reach them easily, before standing at the door a moment and saying. " You're a strong woman, you 'll get through this, we'll help you." Susan looked up and smiled weakly as Trish continued," Good night Susan."

" Good night... Mom."


	7. chapter 7

Home to our joys, home to our sorrows 7

Disclaimer: the plot is mine, nothing else except for a few made up people.

Author's note: Dure to a recent review I have been informed that my story is hard to follow and messed up a bit. Since I like the concept I will continue it nonetheless. However, first of all I wish to apologize for spelling errors as my computer doesn't have spell check. I do have the Io down as a station and not a ship but I didn't know it was on a moon of Jupiter. And with Brumby it appears that was confusing. I was trying to set up that Brumby is manipulative and even if John knew that, it was unoffical protocol in Earthforce to believe the senior officer's word. As for why Susan didn't report him read on to find out...

John woke early the next morning. It was just before dawn. It had been so long since he had seen the sun come up over the horizen. Quickly he dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. The sky was clear, promising a beautiful sunrise. He wanted Susan to see it as well. He debated waking her for a moment, then decided that she could nap later if need be and knocked on her door. 

The door was unlocked and he entered just as she began to wake. She was worried at first, but John smiled reassuringly at her. "Hey, "

" Hi." said Susan still drowsily," What's up?"

" Oh nothing just a beautiful morning." said John in an annoyingly cheerful voice.

Susan scowled at him," it's not even sunrise." she pointed out, preparing to turn over and go back to sleep.

" Exactly, come on," he said taking her hand pulling her out of bed, pulling out some loose legged jeans and a teeshirt for her," meet you downstairs in five." going out the door.

When Susan came down dressed, John had fresh coffee already made and handed her a cup. " We still have about 20 minutes til sunrise. I want to show you my favorite place out here. It's about a half mile away. There is the best view of the sun rising from there." It was a few minutes from 5. 

Within five minutes they were out the door. The air was fresh and cool; the wind blew gentily. John watched Susan carefully, pleased to discover she was enjoying it.He showed her the horses, and she wanted to ride. John knew she couldn't do that yet and vaguely stepsided the issue. He lead her through the fields and woods to a hill facing the east. They climbed to the top. They were silent as the sky filled with color and then slowly faded to the white light of morning.

Susan finally addressed him," What are they going to do to Brumby?"

" After he recovers, he will be brought to court marshall and after which it will be decided if he will be given brig time."

It was silent again. " Why are we here?" she asked figuring while she was getting answers she might as well ask all the questions.

" It is quiet here. You can rest here. Recover, talk. You know you can talk to me." he said looking her in the eye for an answer.

She nodded " I know." John remained silent, allowing her to gather her thoughts and speak in her own time.

" Brumby... what do you know about what he used to do?"

" Only what you told me, he attempted to rape you."

" He not only attempted, he succeeded." she spat out , then looked as if she had regreted speaking.

John turned towards her completely now, " What?"

She sighed, was silent a moment, then continued. " It happened after I was in a fury accident. There had been raiders and I lead the wing out. We were gone the eight hours it took to arrive at the scene, fight and escort the ship back. I had broken my arm and it was in a cast. My leg had to be stitched up and a few of by ribs were bruised. The doctor wanted me to stay over night as I was the worst of the injuries. I refused. I returned to my quarters. My roommate was on vacation. I was alone. We had some of the crew from the Montana on board, including Brumby's friends. I walked in. It was dark. I called for lights. They didn't turn on. Brumby grabbed me, tried to force me down. I fought him. His friends appeared out of nowhere. There were four of them including Brumby. I fought them as I could, but there were so many, and my arm and leg and midsection hurt, refusing to cooperate. Still it was 15 minutes before I could fight no more. I fell. They hauled me up, carried me to my bedroom. His friends held me down, as he raped me, for two hours straight, I fought so hard, but I couldn't stop him.

Afterward he just left. I just lay there. The next morning I cleaned up and went on shift as usual. I looked a mess but everyone accounted it to the accident. I couldn't face it. My body had betrayed me. I couldn't report it. I was too ashamed. I never told anyone, not even Marcus. It was difficult for me to tell you that he even attempted, but after my baby it doesn't seem so bad, it was so much easier than this hollowness in my heart. " 

John looked at her, marveling her strenght and burning hatred for Brumby, for himself for not knowing, for not stopping it. For going along with Brumby. 

She looked down at the ground, as if to ashamed to look him in the eye," I am sorry I lied to you." she said quietly. 

He lifted her chin up, looking her in the eye. " Susan." It was all he could say, his eyes felt wet, and looking up he saw Susan's were too. He wrapped his arms around her. They remained that way for a long time. When they came apart, she tried to drop her gaze but John refused to allow it. " You did nothing wrong, you are the victim, it is not your fault, you have no reason to be ashamed. You are a strong woman, a strong person, you can make it." She thought over this a moment before weakly smiling and John took her hand, " You'll make it," he repeated," and Brumby is going to pay."


	8. chapter 8

Home to our joys, home to our sorrows 8.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Author's note: Even though I am a major I/M er, I am considering writing a Susan/ John romance story, if there is any interest. Let me know what you think.

They brought Brumby to Earth. They were going to put him before a military court, for both the rape and the death of Susan's baby. The day Susan told John everything, he had taken her back and taken her to bed to recover from her ordeal. He, with Susan's permission told his mother. While Susan slept he contacted her Uncle Yossel who upon hearing the story agreed to come immediately to visit her. 

The next day Yossel was there before Susan was up. John was explaining he had to leave for the day to find Susan compatent legal consule. He had a few lawyers recommended and he was going to see them. He explained he hadn't told Susan yet. " Okay," John said, "that's everything. I am just going to say good bye to Susan and head out. "

Susan came downstairs just then. She was freshly showered and dressed in a loose cotton print skirt and a light blouse. She wore sandles. " Head out where?" she asked sharply before noticing Uncle Yossel. She fell silent. He walked over to her and took her into his arms. She fell against him, letting her sorrow run it's course. When she regained herself, John had left. 

***** John tried several Jag lawyer. He was unable to find one suitable until he met a Lieutenant Commander Richard Anderson. When he walked in and began to introduce himself, he was cut off by Anderson's brisk salute. It took him a minute to call an at ease but even then Anderson projected a great deal of respect. 

After he was seated John began," Have you heard of Michael Brumby?" not able to bring himself to use the man's rank.

" Yes sir, he raped Commander Susan Ivanova, second in command of the independant station Babylon 5, and of the Army of Light, as well as the Vice President of the Intersteller alliance, when he was he Xo at the Io. Recently he delivered a punch to her stomach causing her to loose her un born child."

" What do you believe in this matter and what do you think should happen?"

" I believe that Brumby indeed commited these crimes and should be punished accordingly, sir."

" How good of a lawyer are you?"

" Fairly well I hope sir."

" How would you like to be the Commander's legal consule when we take him to court. "

" I would be honored to be asked sir, and to be able to help justice."

" Good, you are coming with me. you can contact who ever you will need to and prepare where we are. I will speak to your commanding officer now. The trial is in three days. You have one hour to pack what you will need." 

" Aye sir." shouted Anderson, saluting John one last time and leaving.

True to his word, when Anderson returned, John had cleared it with Anderson's Co. It was mid afternoon and John was more than ready to head back. He was tired of sticking out and being recongized, his Alliance unifrom not helping matters.

They arrived home just before dinner. Uncle Yossel had returned home by shuttle service. Susan and Trish were working to get food on the table with Trish protesting that Susan should be resting.

Susan seemed better since she had finally told John everything the day before. However she was still withdrawn. When they heard John enter the house, both women rushed to him. When Anderson saw Susan he jumped to attention, with an " Good evening ma'am. " 

Susan softly called him to ease and added an " Good evening soldier."

At the dinner table John explained that he was to be Susan's lawyer. Susan took it in stride calmly. After dinner Anderson spent hours questioning her. He was overwhelmed by the quiet dignity she projected. He questioned John as well. He was awed by the honesty, friendship and loyalty he felt from them both.


	9. chapter 9

Home to our joys, home to our sorrows 9.  
  
Disclaimer : I own the plot, and JMS can't have it. Oh and the Babylon stuff is his, a real shame.  
  
Author's note. Thanks for the reviews and encouragement. I have no intention of making this a Susan/John romance. Number two, I might make Sophia a Susan/ marcus story to appease my I/M readers. Number three, the plot I have in mind for the Susan/ John romance involves the Lumati ambassidor requiring that he be able to watch them. There is a story like that out there but I assure you my idea is very different. I do not feel guilty because a lot of stories out there are similar. The work will be my own completely.  
  
The procecutor held the Bible and Susan placed her left hand on it; she raised her right hand. " Do you solumnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.?"  
  
Her voice was strong as she replied," I do." Her hands played with the edge of her cloak which complimented her Alliance uniform. Anderson smiled nervously, this was the first time he had been procecutor alone. He hoped he was apt enough.  
  
Two very different men sat up front in the benchs for the lawyers and their clients aside from the defence lawyer. Lieutenant Robert Cline was the defence lawyer. His client stared with hatred at Susan with hatred and anger, his eyes murderous, his face tight with anger. The other, sat alone on the procecution side, alone for his two companions were taking part in the questioning, one doing it, the other answering. He looked at her with support and brotherly love. His face smiled gentily at her. He met her eyes, trying to convey strenght to her, she drew it like a life line.  
  
He asked her several questions, the most difficult and important ones being.  
  
" What happened the night of 6 July, 2255? "  
  
Susan drew a deep breath, and turned to John. He smiled encouragingly at her. She nodded almost to herself and spoke, " I entered my quarters at the end of the day. Captain Brumby was there. He approched me, I fell back. He attempted to grab me. I fought him. His friends appeared from the shadows. I had to fight them and was unable to. Fifteen minutes later, I fell and they dragged me to my bedroom and as his friends held me down, he raped me."   
  
He smiled sympathetically at her before continueing with details such as the number of friends, her accident, previous incounters, his behavior towards her, his propositions and his punishements.  
  
He moved on to the death of the child, every detail of their visit leading up to it. Finally he finished. By that time the jury was already bought. They all knew who Susan Ivanova was, and she impressed them. Especally the dignity, intelligence and integrity she displayed that day. There was not a juror who did not believe her. Anderson noted with satifaction. In a clear voice he stated, " No further questions your Honor," He slid onto the bench with John giving him a reassuring smile. John smiled back once again meeting Susan's eyes as the defense stood to question her.   
  
" Commander Ivanova, in light of your recent treasonous actions I have reason to believe this is nothing but a cleverly thought up ploy, do you have anything to say on that?"   
  
" Objection ," cried Anderson. As the entire courtroom broiled in outrage with him that he could stand up and even think such a thing. Susan remained composed as the Judge shouted," not in my courtroom Lieutenant Cline, Objection sustained."  
  
Cline nodded, and continued asking her to describe the three men who had helped Brumby. She was able to do so despite the darkness in the room at the time of the attack. He also asked how she knew it was him and actually had the nerve to ask her to give some sort of physically proof that it was Brumby and was able to do so by describing a tatoo on Brumby's chest. She had been able to see all this by the starlight as her eyes had grown accostomed to the darkness she said.   
  
Cline, seeing there was nothing here to make a dent in their case moved on to the recent event. He again asked her to describe the events leading up to the miscarriage. When she finished he began," So the captain here did not confront you immediately?" at her negative she continued," In fact he was simply conferring with a member of his crew, as he has the right to do?" she answered in the affirmative and began to continue when Cline interupted, Indeed, Commander it was you who confronted him?"   
  
" Yes."  
  
" So it was you who provoked him?"  
  
" Yes."  
  
" To the point where you deserved nothing less than that punch he delievered?"  
  
" Objection." Shouted Anderson, as John stood up shouting, about to race foward as Anderson held him down. Both their faces were red with rage. How dare that bastard....  
  
Susan was pale, but once again remained composed, dipping her head in shame, as if about to accept responsiblity for the death of her child. " Objection sustained." the judge stated firmly. " Back off , Lieutenant."   
  
" No further questions, your honor,"   
  
" Lieutenant Commander, any other questions,"   
  
" Just this, Commander, you have a daughter, yes?"  
  
Susan nodded to Anderson's question.  
  
" You would do anything for her? "  
  
  
  
" yes, anything."  
  
" In fact when she was born, you were being held in the Corp, and to insure her freedom ran with her risking your own life?"  
  
" Yes."   
  
" that's all," said but remained standing.  
  
" You may step down commander." the Judge stated. She took her seat between John and Anderson as John took her hand and squeesed it warmly. the Judge continued, " Court is in recess until 0900 tommorow morning." 


	10. chapter 10

Home to our joys, Home to our sorrows 10.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and a few made up people.  
  
The next day Susan sat back as John testified. As well as the ladies in the room when Susan had the miscarriage, the crew who could testify to Brumby's treatment to her when she served at the IO. The three men were found within twenty four hours and they too were brought to trial. At the end of the second day, the hearing was adjourned when the Judge asked Brumby and his council to stand and the jury reported their findings. Captain Michael Brumby was guilty of all charges, he was to be court marshalled and received two life terms in prison. His three friends were court marshalled as well and received lesser sentences of twenty years. As soon as it was over John took Susan in his arms and hugged her tightly before shaking Anderson's hand and thanking him throughly as did Susan. John looked at her straight in the eye and saw the relief in her face as if she could put it behind her now. They headed back home where they retired early as the next day they would have to address the next item on their agenda, the wedding.  
  
Both Susan and John were up early. Today they had to go shopping. Both dressed quickly. Susan wore a beige silky sleaveless, knee length dress with matching sandles. John wore light trousers and a light shirt. They drove to town quietly and boarded a shuttle to Paris, the fashion Capital. They sat quietly in their seats. The take off was rough and Susan muttered a gruff," civilains," They both started laughing.  
  
They spent the day in Paris, Rome and few other places, shopping, talking eating and laughing. They did get recognized and even had to sneak out a restaurant which made the day a bit more exciting. John could see that Susan was better now. They needed to head back to the Io for the weddding.  
  
They returned late that night and went straight to bed. In the morning they packed their belongings and after a long farewell to Patricia they headed back.  
  
When they arrived at the Io the changes were amazing. The crew was relaxed, less fearful and more productive under the command of the Xo, who retained power.   
  
The wedding went on as planned. There were many functions and celebrations before Susan and John returned to Babylon 5. Everyone there had heard what had happened. They stepped off and Marcus took her into his arms. Seeing them together John knew they would be all right.  
  
**** One year later. Medlab was quiet. It was night, John stalked through quietly being directed by the nurses who knew where he needed to be. He knocked slightly on the door before entering. The woman in the bed smiled at him and beconed him closer. He complied stopping only at the bed side before take the new born child from her arms, holding it a moment, before turning to Susan and taking her in his arms, thankful that that moment was one of Joy instead of Sorrow it had been not so long ago. 


End file.
